so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
