fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
