the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
