I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
