Your dad touched me again.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
