Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
