you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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