Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
