remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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