ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
