carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize