He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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