Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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