I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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