hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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