ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
