After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
