I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
