I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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