I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
