I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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