if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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