she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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