ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
