u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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