She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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