You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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