I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
