Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
