Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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