found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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