but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Small penises have feelings too.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
