She said her name was "party"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
