Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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