Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
