I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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