Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
