Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
love makes seman taste better
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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