This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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