sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
