she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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