why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
