You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
