i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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