hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
