I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Two words: blizzard sex
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
