please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
