Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize