I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
