dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize