i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Please don't give away my fajitas
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
