the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
