Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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