i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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