You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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