There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize