Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
