Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
