hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it hurts more in the daytime
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I have post one night stand depression
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
