he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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