Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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