I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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