I think i sorta joined a cult last night
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I'm having to shit out rocks
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
