Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize