He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
