i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Randomize
