Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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