Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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