If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
